True to herself

While we’re on the subject of feminist slogans that encourage selfishness, please do check out Dalrock’s excellent take-down of the call for women to be “true to themselves” here and here.

My wife and I were talking about “being true to yourself” yesterday when she made the point that for women this always somehow meant not fulfilling their obligations and responsibilities (because it will destroy you).  Being true to yourself is the exact opposite to being true to your word.  I’ve made the observation before that the phrase as commonly used is a codification of childishness.  However, this time it reminded me of a passage from Lorraine Berry’s Salon piece*:

Had that spark always been there? Had I had been too caught up in the mundaneness of married life? Had I really been yet another one of those women who had given away her identity when she said “I do?” And I don’t mean “I do” to marriage — but rather “I do” to adult responsibility, jobs, children, mortgage, graduate school, paying bills. Where was the me in all of that?

I’ve always had this sense, but Lorraine Berry doesn’t even try to couch it in feminist or woman’s magazine newspeak.  There is no waxing mysterious about feeling trapped due to a problem that has no name.  She actually comes right out and complains about being trapped in adulthood.  This is a mother of two who is almost 50, writing about the unfairness of having been forced to grow up in her mid to late 20s.  Some editor at Salon must have saw this and thought;  this would make a great column.  It speaks to every woman’s crushed dreams.

So here you have it.  The evil patriarchy’s greatest crime is expecting women to grow up.

He also explains how the famous line “To thine own self be true” means something much different in Hamlet than what feminists take it to mean.

2 Responses

  1. “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.”
    Henry David Thoreau

    I think this applies to most of us who at least ponder on life now and then, both male and female. It’s just the way it is; no good to cry over it — unless you can make a few bucks on yet another whinging article.

    I’m also pretty fond of this quotation: it’s gotten me thru some hard times.

    “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.”
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Suck it up Lorraine!

  2. Thank you for the linkage!

    I just posted my write up on the transmission of divorce through social networks which you might also enjoy.

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